Monthly Archives: Febreiro 2012

ego

Estándar

I have realized something. Last night I was going to bed and I felt why should I reward myself? should I? why I cannot find reasons to be happy with myself? Like, why still I think all what I do it is not enough and I want to work more and more. 

so let me try. Let me try to mention reasons to maybe feel proud of myself, at least for these last couple of day.

– I have been accepted to volunteer at my old high school in the library. Organizing books, and promoting reading to tenagers. 

– I have been (and my classes) congratulated by my students. 

– I have been asked to teach several people more in my little town. 

– I have been told to look pretty by my friends mother. 

– I have seen friends that haven’t seen for a while, and really enjoy their conversation. 

– I have been asked to go for coffee with my coworkers. 

– I find one of my doctors really, really sexy

– I have put a lot a lot of effort on my classes and jobs. 

Well, as you can see it is probably not enough to feel proud of oneself, but at least to laugh a bit. 

 

 

 

– Haven’t made angry anyone for a while

– Visited ill friends in hospital / home. 

 

Doctor prescription: beer

Estándar

So it was a good day at work. I had my Spanish class and we talked about primary schools and stuff like that. Two students missing, though. One of my co-workes asked me to go with her for a coffee and that felt really nice. 

The truth is that I have been having a coffee break (5 min) every day to drink an Americano. Since my  parents told me I should start surviving with my income (last month was only 350 Euros) I decided not to have that coffee anymore. But today I could not resist the opportunity of getting a friend. 

My mum called me to tell me that I had a doctor appointment today, that I did not know. She forgot to tell me when they called. So after work I went there. It went pretty well. I though he may change my treatment but you know what he prescribed me a beer right after my appointment.

According to him, I have a problem. He thinks I have been too responsible all my life. So he thinks that I should start having fun. I did have that beer. 

I went to the reading club after lunch, and presented some projects, like an interview to a writer. 

Then I realized something. When I was younger (in high school) I founded a club. It was called the Bohemian Club and it was supposed to be a space to discuss about literature, music, writing, philosophy. It had three members. Or four. We never got to do anything, I think we did some book markers. 

It was disappointing since anyone had really the interest. MEmbers where members just because they were my friends and they loved me and wanted to make me happy. But the purpose of it was not too appealing for them. 

The thing is that know, putting together all my activities, all my reading clubs, the drama lessons, and all the people involved, I kind of have my desired Bohemian Club and it is fascinating. 

 

Just that.

I am already tired. and it is only wed. 

 

 

Aparte

On BcN

 
Well, I am back. I did not even realized how fast it went.
Thursday I went after lunch to the airport (and after a conversation with one of my students who seems to be not happy with his class). And I was worried cuz Nuria had emailed me telling me that the university was closed because of the snow. I thought that I may not be capable of doing the paperwork…. 
When I arrived I met Youkyong at the FNAC place. We had a cup of coffee and it was really nice to catch up with her. It was freezing cold. 
 
Arrived to Estelas’ and waited her to be back from English class. I was so glad toI see her again (despite the fact she was angry at me -don’t want to get into details 🙂 ) 
Next day the university was ok, so I could do everything. Not that was important (I mean, i got my diploma and everything) but the greatest thing was going and come back with LAura and Olivia with whom I had seen in forever… like, I felt time was not enough to talk. It was great. We walked around, did some shopping, lunch and dinner with Nuria and her bf ( they look really cute)…
 
Saturday I spent the morning running some errands and in the afternoon went to the movies with Carla. It was really nice, we watched Albert Nobbs. I did like it. I spent the night with Estela talking and talking. I feel I could be talking to her forever. There is always something she has to say, and she’s always ready to listen to what you have to say. 
 
And sunday was there already. Going back home. home? 
 
So yeah, what do i call home? Did I feel at home in Barcelona? No i didn’t. Do I feel home in Galicia? NO I don’t. so that is kind of uncomfortable. Like I do not belong to anywhere. 
 
Let me explain. I love the city. Barcelona. Chilly and it there is plenty of stuff to see and to do. I mean, everything is moving, everything is changing and that is so like me. I could just pass the day entering weird stores and looking at different people. You feel like you have the whole world available there. No one judging you. No one caring about what you are doing, how are you walking, and how are you dressing. There is something, though. Before arriving at Estelas’ house I decided to do some grocery shopping (milk, soup, fruit) so I did not use her stuff, and I acted as if I was here, like saying hi to everyone and making comments on the weather, or irrelevant stuff to unknown people. They would just stare at me… with a “poker” face. Like “i do not know you. do not talk to me”. Like there is a barrier. As if I was going to do something bad to them. I think that is normal in big cities, you just do not trust everyone. But I felt lonely. 
 
Seeing the girls was amazing. I mean, i was not feeling lonely when I was around my friends. In fact, I was kind of surprised because after being separated for this long I thought that our relationship could have suffered damages and I think it did not. I felt totally comfortable and glad to catch up. There, I felt like I belonged there with them. 
 
Overall I felt ok. I already miss them. But not it. And as “it” I refer to everything that brings me memories. Bad and Good. 
 
Thank you
 
 
(I finished Ensayo sobre la cegera by Saramago. Loved it. Nuria, you were right) Now I am going to read Tinkers…

On BcN Well, I…